


Out of Touch

by baekkieony



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Eating Disorders, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Multiple Personalities, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:40:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23486209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baekkieony/pseuds/baekkieony
Summary: Out of all the things you've ever felt, did you feel out of touch?
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Out of Touch

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't really a exo fanfic or something, I just needed a place to leave this, I'm sorry. Please don't get this deleted, it is dear to my heart.

Did you ever try to be someone you are not? Did you ever try to mask yourself as someone else? Or no, the better question probably is, did you ever want to be someone you are not?  
Did you ever feel the need to not be yourself?  
Did you ever feel like a stranger in your own body.

Looking at yourself in the mirror, but it felt like you were a third person in the room?

Just you, your reflection and well, 

the second you.

Did you ever feel like the skin your fingertips were touching is not yours? Like you were watching from the outside, paralyzed, not able to do anything against your self-destructive behavior that both fascinated and repulsed you at the same time.

Did you ever hate your body? Did you cry when looking in the mirror? Did you have a breakdown over eating a piece of pizza because the fam’ was watching and you just can’t **not** eat in front of your family. Did you ever starve yourself?

Did you ever feel like your personality is a fake? Like your whole being is a lie?

Did you ever think to yourself, over and over again, day after day, “what I’m living is a lie? What I am is a lie?”. Do you even recognize yourself or do you stare in the mirror all day long, wondering who this strange, unknown person in front of you is.

Are you ever tired of lying to yourself? Lying to all your friends?

Do you ever feel like you just fake the whole thing?

I’m sure you never wished to do that, but neither felt the need to change anything, because “life is going fine, I’m doing fine, I’m losing weight, I’m going to look good, why should I complain?”.

Were you ever in the position where you felt so out of touch with yourself that you wrote down all these weird questions, in hopes of someone answering them that is not you?

Did you ever look at yourself and went “wait, what happened?”.  
Did you ever find an answer?


End file.
